Black Hole

Since getting Oliver’s passport I have been in a black hole of depression. My elation has been replaced by a nagging worry that when I try to leave the country with him for the first time and I am going to be given a hard time by the immigration officials. I am thinking of taking Achand with us when we leave so as to minimise the hassles. He is also going to get Oliver’s mother to sign a letter saying she gives me permission to take Oliver out of the country at any time. Maybe it’s because I have been ill for the past week too. Have a nasty cold. I flew to Jakarta at the weekend to see Ade and felt like crap all weekend. I didn’t feel like being there and considering it cost nearly 600 dollars – it was a bit of a waste. I ended up apologising to him because I didn’t feel well and I was in a foul mood the whole time. To make matters worse I keep thinking about Urdik. School is driving me nuts too. As usual too much going on and that’s about to get worse as we have the end of semester fucking reports to get done. I hate doing them. We modified the form so they are less arduous but they are still a major imposition and will dominate my waking hours for the next few weeks. That’s what I resent. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr! A few weeks ago I remember being quite happy. What’s happened?

Oliver Has A Passport!!

OLIVER HAS HIS OWN PASSPORT!!!
Yesterday at 11 pm Achand told me he had Oliver's passport by sms. I spent ten minutes blubbering like a baby in my office with the door firmly shut. Nearly seven years I have tried to do this and finally he has some sort of official/legal status as an Indonesian citizen. A huge weight has been lifted from my shoulders. We can now travel. If I lost my job here it doesn't matter so much anymore as I can now find work anywhere and Oliver can come with me. Except Australia maybe. That will be the next hurdle. My gut feeling is the Australian immigration people will refuse a visa for him. It's a long story why I feel that way. But for now I am elated. I am carrying the passport in my pocket and showing to everyone today. Someone will slap me before the day is out for sure.

Passport Woes Continue

Driving across Lombok again was an experience in survival. Friday waiting outside the Mataram immigration office was stressful as Oliver was inside with Achand who is pretending to be his uncle in order to procure his passport. The rest of the day waiting to hear what was going on was sheer agony for me. I know I am a very impatient person sometimes. I was led to believe that Oliver would be photographed at immigration on Friday morning and that I would get his passport by the end of the day. Sure. Nothing is ever that simple - especially as I have learnt, in this country. Four o'clock was the stated time. I spent the day watching the clock and of course the day seemed to be twice as long as it normally would. The allotted time passed - no news. I made Achand, who is organising this ring Pak Yusran, the man from immigration. There was a problem with final approval. It would have to wait till Monday. I was furious. I insisted that if they were still at immigration we could come back and still try to get the passport. Pak Yusran said to bring Achand to immigration. So I drove like a maniac all the way from Puri Mas Villas in Sengiggi to Mataram. A thirty-minute trip usually. I think I made it in twenty. Again I sat in the car and waited. Achand finally came out and said that it would still have to wait till Monday. He assured me he had seen the passport. I kept asking him, "You actually saw the passport?" Am I being screwed again is the constant thought that crosses my mind? The rest of the weekend sort of passed in an alcoholic blur. I drank lots of wine and tried to relax. Urdik came to stay on Saturday night. He’d been at a birthday party and brought six friends and his brother to meet me! They were all nearly as beautiful as he is. That's another blog sometime. Early on Sunday morning Oliver and I made the long, dangerous and tiring drive back to Sumbawa. On Monday after not hearing anything from Achand I find out that the head of immigration who has to sign the passport will be way until Wednesday. Another nervous breakdown loomed! Last night Achand informs me that he is on his way to Bali to see Oliver's mother. I had given him her contact details in desperation thinking maybe that he could use her somehow. The last time I saw her was to seek her help to get a passport for Oliver. She refused. Today is Wednesday. Achand supposedly has something from Oliver's mother to confirm to immigration that he is not being abducted, stolen out of the country or being sold into slavery. Or is this just another elaborate scheme to extort money from me? Paranoia or not this time?

Off To Lombok

Thursday this week I will drive to Lombok again in my car with Oliver my son. We are supposedly going to immigration on Friday so he can have his picture taken for an Indonesian passport. I have had to ask for two days off work to do this. My principal is a human being thank goodness and a friend and he knows all the stuff I have been through with Oliver. If this is what happens I will be beyond elation! I have parted with one million rupiah already for "the necessary documents." That could mean anything. I am finding it hard to contain my excitement but I have learnt that I must stay cool until I actually have the passport in my hand. Oliver wants to go to Disneyland now. So maybe Hong Kong would be a good travel option for us.
Stay posted.

Passport Saga

Passport sagas continue! Yesterday I received an sms from my friend in Lombok to say that there is a little problem with the passport stuff for Oliver. Experience has taught me that in this country that means there is a huge fuck up and no one really knows what to do. Acquiring Oliver’s passport is not going to be as straightforward as the immigration man led me to believe. He seems to be confused because there is mention in one of the documents I supplied of Oliver’s Australian citizenship. Oliver was an Australian citizen for three days. But when the officials at the embassy in Bali discovered that I was not his biological father, this citizenship was revoked. The other problem seems to stem from the fact that Oliver’s mother had a passport with Oliver as an infant in it. This passport has since expired. My elation and over optimism has turned to a dull ache again as I go through yet another ride of officialdom and god knows what with the Indonesian bureaucracy. A few months ago Oliver asked questions about his mother and I told him she was living in Bali and would he like to see her. He did. We met her and he seemed quite unaffected by her. She didn’t exactly gush over him with maternal delight. At that meeting I implored her to help me get him a passport and she refused. As a reason she told me that she intended to marry an Australian man and did not want him to know about Oliver. I don’t care anymore what she wants or thinks. She cannot deny Oliver’s existence. I don’t care if she never sees him or doesn’t want anything to do with him but she is his mother and nothing will change that. She needs to take some responsibility for his future in this matter and I will force her to if I have to. She is the only one who can make this happen.

Invent A Man

Through my long-time friend in Lombok, Achand, I met last weekend a friend of his, Urdik. Achand introduced me to Urdik as, “This is my very sexy friend, Urdik.” Sexy was an understatement. In my time in Indonesia I have seen thousands of men I would describe as very handsome. The proportion of handsomeness here and in Asia seems to be higher than I remember witnessing in Australia. Maybe I am biased though. But Urdik is stunningly handsome. Perfect skin, big brown eyes, beautiful white teeth and an enchanting smile and from our short encounters, a seemingly sweet person as well. Meeting and knowing lots of men led me to think over the weekend about being able to combine the best attributes of all the men I have been close to or met, to make the perfect partner. Gary Crew, an Australian author explores this idea in Inventing Anthony West, where two teenage girls invent the ideal boyfriend. I am sure others have explored this concept too. I would definitely opt for Urdik’s looks. My partner has a significantly sized penis and gentle nature so I would choose those for my new man. My friend Anton has a slim, hairless, but well-defined body and is a little taller than me so his frame would carry the other bits to advantage. Arief’s personality combined with aspects of my partners would be a perfect blend of caring, encouragement, compassion, empathy and trust. Doddy or Martin’s drive or money or power would be handy too. Carlton’s artistic interests and passion would be vital. Michael’s skills with wood and ability to organise would be worthwhile attributes also. His name? That’s a very difficult choice. I’ve always liked the name Elliot. Elliot you are too good to be true!