Flight To Tasmania

Time to talk about the Tasmanian experience with Oliver seeing as it took me nearly seven years to actually get him out of the country and to my birthplace. And I haven’t blogged regularly for so long. We flew quite late at night from Denpasar to Melbourne, business class. I had always said that this would be such a special thing that we would fly with a bit of comfort. So we did. We made it through immigration in Denpasar without any hassles even though I was as nervous as a nun in a sexy lingerie shop. Oliver was fairly excited but the flight didn’t leave till midnight. By the time we boarded he was worn out. Sitting in the seats he discovered the flip out television and he so desperately wanted to watch it. Before the plane had leveled out though, he was sound asleep and remained so until I had to wake him at the ungodly hour of 6.30 am when we arrived in Melbourne. As usual I had not slept a wink. Bleary eyed and even more nervous than any nun could ever be we trudged to face the Australian immigration officials. I had Oliver’s passport. It contained the necessary visa. But I was still worried. Would they actually let us in or would we spend the night in some small room awaiting deportation back to Indonesian? Am I just paranoid? A very pleasant young woman stamped my passport, flicked through Oliver’s and said in matter of fact way, “You need to go over to that counter. We need to check Oliver’s passport.” I thought, this is it – what the hell is the matter? Are we about to be arrested? I was so scared. I stood before the counter so close to losing it. The guy behind the counter used some magnification device to look at Oliver’s passport and quite casually said to the person I’d handed it to, “This one is OK.” Oliver obviously was oblivious to all this but I literally dragged him to the baggage collection area from that counter in case they changed their minds. I did notice however that all the other Indonesians on the flight were having their passports scrutinized in a similar fashion. As we waited for our bags I rang my mum and told her we were on Australian soil. Funny I didn’t burst into tears this time as I had done in both Mataram as we left for Singapore and in Jakarta after I had seen the visa in Oliver’s passport. Too tired maybe. We were booked to fly to Tasmania about lunchtime but when I went to the check-in counter there was a much earlier flight so we ran to the gate in order to make it. I will never ever forget the feeling as Oliver and I walked from the plane at Launceston airport to meet Mum and Dad who were waiting there for us. I cried again but I had my sunglasses on this time. Nearly seven years this journey had taken and so much trauma and we had finally made it for just 7 short days…

Lycra

I removed this blog a few weeks ago and have not blogged since. My friend and colleague whom I have a great deal of respect for, warned me that such explicit entires could be dangerous to my career. I have thought much about this and decided that I will not buckle to such an invasion of my right to say what I like. The internet has become this huge phenomenon of free speech and my removing this blog is contrary to what I believe about it as an uncensored forum and my right to be a totally open gay man. So it goes back up.
Three times now I have been in Lombok and explored what I thought was a growing passion for a very, very beautiful man of Balinese extraction. Yes cliché or not, but he is the classic in my opinion of, tall, dark and stunningly handsome. But after three meetings there are serious misgivings on my behalf about some of the things he says and does. As well as the fact that I know I will not fall in love with him. There seemed to be some chemical attraction at the start and I thought I was in big trouble, but thank goodness this time my head is stronger than my heart and I am taking notice of what it tells me. There are some quite strange aspects about his behaviour, which have set alarm bells ringing. He insists on wearing these strange lycra type underpants similar to a swim suit but in a boxer style and he has another cotton pair inside. I find this very strange. After making love he always puts them back on. One night while I was sleeping I remember waking up and found that he was naked. He scurries of to the bathroom to put a condom on before the act. Once when I sleepily said I was too tired he calmly but sweetly replied, “You just sleep,” while starting to insert him-self into my back passage. Not the hallmark of a sensitive caring person somehow. And I would of slept through it anyway. (See the end of this entry). He has started telling me he loves me too even though he knows about my partner in Jakarta. Other warning signals I have noticed are the night I arrived he was more interested in waiting around to say hello to the owner of the place where I was staying than coming to bed. We hadn’t seen each other for two weeks. He also seems very vain and will make references to how handsome he is. I have actually seen him on the way to the bathroom and he will stop and look at himself in the mirror. Some of things I see him do around Oliver bother me too. He seems a bit too physical with him – like he will kiss him or grab him and even though Oliver appears to really like him I don’t think he wants him to do these things. I am convinced he is a bit of a control freak like so many others I have known. He knew I had a partner before I met him or quite soon after but now has declared his love for me by saying the dreaded three words. Little emotional games have started. Like when I was in Jakarta with my partner he would send me messages saying things like: “I hope you are Ade are having a nice time. Why didn’t you answer my call?” Just after I arrived in Jakarta he got upset and sent me a message to say he didn’t want to ever see me again. Then later he changed his mind. And to cut a long story short or small would be the operative word – it’s so sad that he doesn’t measure up with one physical attribute. He is tall, beautiful and charming but has a diminutive penis. I didn’t think it would ever matter to me but given all the other things about him it does. So size does matter.

Brotherhood

I owe Achand a very big debt of gratitude as he was instrumental in me obtaining Oliver’s passport. Many other people have offered but never done anything. Some have stole my money or just plain lied to me but he was the person who actually made it a reality. He had a friend in the immigration department in Mataram and through him Oliver’s passport was done. It cost me a lot of money though. I paid the equivalent of $1000 Australian to get the passport. I also gave Achand a quite large sum of money too. But he deserved it. Achand helped me and I think he would probably walk on broken glass if I asked him to because he is still in love with me. I met him about seven years ago when I would sneak off from a very bad relationship with my first Indonesian lover to meet him and have sex in cheap hotels. We met every time I was in Lombok and it was quite exciting. Back in those days I used to travel from Sumbawa to Lombok every weekend on the company ferry to be with Oliver, who was under one year old at the time and to be with my nasty Indonesian boyfriend. (Yes, Berry you are another story – some other time.) To keep my clandestine meetings for sex with Achand, my excuse to my then boyfriend was that I was going shopping. I knew that Achand fell in love with me through those meetings but I never ever felt the same for him. He told me he loved me. I can’t explain why I didn’t feel the same for him. It was always nice with him and I liked him a lot but that chemical thing never ever happened for me. We didn’t have contact for several years because of another very bad relationship. Detect a pattern here? About a two years ago we re-established contact. Over the passed few months we have cemented a bond of friendship akin to what I believe having a brother would be like. I only have a sister. I have told him he is the closest I will ever become to having a brother. He still wants to do it with me though which is a bit incestuous really!